Sometimes, I go about life in a querulous syncopation of jumbled thoughts and brilliant ideas that only I understand. I can tell what I mean by studying people’s expressions. If they laugh, I’ve blundered into one of my absurd notions God has put us here to perfect ourselves before we have a hell’s chance of clambering up to the top of the heavenly ladder. If their faces take on a reflective expression, I know I’ve hit upon one of my brilliant ideas and will be able to carry on an intelligent conversation until my mind fully grasps the original notion it put forth. Once their expression turns to boredom, it’s time to stop and ask them about their dog.
People love to talk about their dogs. I often wonder why but wouldn’t dare ask them if the other aspects of their lives matter less or have become such a chore, their one joy rests in the canine who stands by their sides sniffing my dog’s butt. The other day a man stopped me and asked to pet my dog. He seemed lonely and out of sorts. He said, “Your dog just made my day.”
Many people ask to pet my dog when they don’t have their own handy. My mind gallops around this notion and naturally hits upon the brilliant idea we are too far away from nature. I proffer this notion to the man, but he laughs at me, so I know it’s time to take my dog and leave. He laughed until we were out of earshot licking our sore egos and considering the fact, we just encountered one of God’s assholes. Naturally, my mind gets busy to sort through why so many of them came from our divine source. Again, it appears to hearken back to my original notion of the need to perfect ourselves but maybe we can only do this if the world is peppered with chaotic souls who feel compelled to challenge our peace of mind. I climb to the first rung of the heavenly ladder by reminding myself to be grateful for the few kindnesses extended in my direction. The second rung requires love. Sadly, my capacity to love at this moment seems hindered by an easy recognition of God’s assholes and an inability to accept their mockery without retort.